Cigarettes smoked yesterday: 15
Cigarettes smoked today (so far): 6
So, turns out I’m poor.
It’s not like that’s a shock to the system or anything… I’ve been poor for a while… I just hate realizing it. Just one more stressor on top of a large pile of stressors (being poor, having to move, work problems…).
I did my best yesterday to not smoke (as much), and it went okay. I’m still not quite in the mindset that I’m winding down here, so I’ve decided to start counting my cigarettes, and keeping track of where I was when I smoked them. My biggest problem areas are as follows:
- Whilst Driving - I’m in real estate. I drive A LOT, I have a relatively long commute, and against all advice to the contrary, I smoke in my car. Driving, typically, is boring and boredom is one of the #1 causes of me wanting to smoke. Being stuck in traffic? Mind numbing, frustrating, irritating, sometimes dangerous. It’s nice to distract myself for 5-10 minutes with a little nicotine fix. I seem, however, to be more prone to chain-smoking when I’m in the car. I don’t know what it is, aside from the lack of SOMETHING TO DO. Paying attention BE DAMNED.
- After a Meal - This is just a habit. There are very few cigarettes as pleasureful as one right after a big meal.
- At the Office - It simply just gives me a reason to take a break (though I take far too many).
The other cigarettes are scattered throughout the day, usually beginning with one every morning after I get up and ending with one every hour or so I’m home at night. It seems that my whole day is just a series of short events that I have to get through so I can have my cigarettes. I’m tired of living this way.
